new year new list

a lot of people set out and make rediculous new years resolutions, I choose to make new year reading lists
two years ago I set out with the goal to read a book a week. I didn't do it, but I did well for a little while...
I would like to try this again, I'm not sure how this will pan out with starting school again but I am going to give it a shot. I've decided that I'm not allowing myself to buy anymore books until I've made it through some of the ones I already have. I'm going to alternate between religion/spiritual studying books and pretty much sports books... I also want to dive into my photography books more too...

In one week I will be starting classes again. holy moses.

it leaves me speechless. I'm so anxious to get started.

I am so thankful for a new year. I was pretty over 2011. by like last february...

and sometimes you just need an orchestra

every once in a while I have my music cravings switch to something I put on the back shelf.
Yelling music has been a NO WAY lately... Until today.
I had to have some Manchester Orchestra. At my job we rarely listen to anything outside of worship music so it was weird to all of a sudden feel like my day wasn't moving without something out of the blue. I don't do any screaming music much more than that but I was craving it today. And I must say that its just as lovely as I remembered :)

On a different note, I'm signed up for classes. I am going back to school for a degree in Elementary Education. Wow. I start the second week in January. I'm excited but super nervous too. It feels like such a big thing right now but I know that soon enough it will be routine again and I'll be dreading all the fun homework all over again :)

I'm off to figure out what books I need.

Starting Now

Tomorrow starts 21 days of change. I am changing my workout habits, eating habbits and free time habbits.
I am commiting to working out 6 days a week, on the 7th I am doing yoga.
I am going to be doing a mixture of running and weight training. I need to get a hold of my focus again.
I am cutting sugar out. If I know what I'm about to eat has sugar in it, not goin in my mouth.
No fast food. I'm sick of feeling like crap
I will be drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day.
I plan on doing this longer than the 21 days of course but its been said that if you do something consistantly for 21 days it becomes a habit. If I can make these small changes now it will change everything for me.
I am going to make time every night to read again. I have tons of amazing books but I just haven't been making enough time to read any of them.
I am also changing the way I spend my money. I want to go to Chicago this summer. The Sox are playing the Cubbies and I want to be there. I love the idea of Chicago. I also like the idea of being able to play with my money a little bit. I don't want to always have to stop and think, "Is this going to drain my account?"

I am making changes.

that good ol' exhausted feeling :)

Tonite I am completely exhausted and I love it. I had such a productive day at work and when I got off I hit the gym instead of making an excuse and going home.

When I got there I hopped on one of the cross ramps (cross trainer?) and worked my butt off for an hour. It was one of those workouts that every time I wanted to quit and just be done for the night I got my second and third and fourth wind. When I stepped off I felt so accomplished and happy :) And that feeling will be one that I remember on a day that I want to skip a workout.
This is the workout I did tonite:

Time (Minutes)	Ramp	Resistance
0-5 (Warm Up)	4	1
5-10	6	5
10-15	Reverse! 12	4
15-20	12	4
20-25	8	7
25-30	Reverse! 14	5
30-35	14	6
35-40	9	8
40-45	6	9
45-50	7	7
50-55	Reverse! 13	4
55-60 (Cool Down)	6	4

I am off to go clean, read and sleep :)

I still follow the Life Journal online devotion readings everyday. I just don't always write in the format that I used to. It gives me something to "chew on" throughout rest of the day and something to meditate on while I pray throughout the day. Today, reading in Nehemiah 9 I came across this:

¹ On the twenty-fourth day of the same month, the Israelites gathered together, fasting and wearing sackcloth and putting dust on their heads. ² Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the sins of their ancestors. ³ They stood where they were and read from the Book of the Law of the LORD their God for a quarter of the day, and spent another quarter in confession and in worshiping the LORD their God. ⁴ Standing on the stairs of the Levites were Jeshua, Bani, Kadmiel, Shebaniah, Bunni, Sherebiah, Bani and Kenani. They cried out with loud voices to the LORD their God.

 This is something that stopped me in my tracks. How often do I spend my prayer time confessing and repenting? A lot of the time I just think of the things I've done wrong or messed up on and ask God to help me fix them. I never bring them before Him and actually repent. It's a big part of what we are called to do when we come before God and I've been slacking. Scripture usually paints a picture in my head. In this one I see thousands of people on their feet crying out and weeping to God for their sins. They also confessed the sins of their ancestors. They brought all the wrong that was done before God and asked for forgiveness. They wanted a clean slate. I want to be able to come before God and not only ask him to wipe my slate clean but to also forgive me for what I have done. Forgiveness He gives. 

Don't abandon me for you made me

Today I was reading from ps 138 and these verses brought me to tears. They are my prayer for the day, especially verse 8.
"3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.
6 Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
8 The LORD will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me." (Psalm 138:3, 6, 8 NLT)

Freaking out Friday

Holy Moses.
Today has already been so weird that I would like a do over and I've only been up for 2 hours!
But the good news is:
1-it's Friday
2-one week from today will be my last day at this job :)
3-I am having a fabulous hair day
4-I get to spend some time with a good friend tonite and not worry about waking up early for work tomorrow








Some of the things that make today kinda weird/rough:
1-while I was inside at the coffee shop this morning someone left one of those witnessing tracks under my windshield wiper. I really don't mind if people do that, except when it's pouring rain. Like it is today. I made me want to swear. Not be saved from eternal damnation.
2- tonite I am going to the nursing home to see my great grandma who has suffered from Alzheimer's. The last time I went to see her I left bawling my eyes out, and that was a year ago. They think she doesn't have much time left. She has wanted to go "home" for a long time now, something like 7 years now. It is so hard to know how confused she is and how much she just wants to be in heaven with her husband and son. I love her and I can't imagine what tonite will feel like. Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

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Music and Another Day

So it turns out that 23 feels just like 22 :) Not too shabby though. I had a really fun time hanging out with my friends and family- and it is being continued on throughout the week. I am really blessed to have all of them. I got something in the mail yesterday from Etsy and I am considering it a Birthday present to myself...

This Awesome Ring. I bought it last week and received it yesterday. It's so fun and I'm really getting into the arrow trend.

I have my eye on this necklace to go with it...


This birthday was something different for me in a sense that I sat down last night and evaluated where I am at in my life. I am not where I thought I would be. In a sense I am not doing anything different than when I turned 22. I'm not quite a fan of this feeling of just letting life happen and not be intentional about it. I want to find where I fit in the world and I want to make that part of my everyday life. I want to be DOING something with my life. So starting today- the day after my birthday- I am changing things. I am making my health, my walk with Christ, my future and my heart a priority. I am not going to have other people making my decisions based on what they want me to do with my life instead of what I have been called to do and deserve to do with my life. I am taking better care of myself starting now. I deserve to love myself and need to get better at that. I am getting to the place where I listen to what God wants to say to me instead of just hearing what I want to hear- and there is a big difference. I am applying to a couple schools this week. One for photography. Another for teaching. And as I start this I'm going to be praying and LISTENING to where I am supposed to go. I'm not just throwin my hopes out into the universe waiting for something to happen with them. I am making things happen. It all starts with me doing something about it.


I want to get back to doing my 31 Days Project but because today is going to be pretty crazy and busy once I'm off work I am going to switch up some days. I am going to trade Day 5 for Day 4 (I'll have time to do some pictures tomorrow).

DAY 4(but really 5). Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
To me- this post is about someone that encourages me to live. They encourage and pray for me. Someone that has done that for me (literally my whole life) has been my sweet friend Hannah. We grew up together and have stayed friends throughout the years. Whenever I think about people doing something with their lives- I think of the calling God has placed on Hannah's life. She has SUCH a heart for people. And she is so sensitive to the voice of God. She is a friend that stands true to her convictions and loves on people always. I don't know if she realizes how many times I have felt like a failure and she came in and reminded me that I am a child of God and I am capable of doing things that I couldn't imagine doing otherwise. This amazing friend of mine called me yesterday while I was at work and wasn't able to grab the phone, but I listened to the voicemail she left and my heart missed her so much. But after listening to that I stopped and think about all the things we have been through and how much we still love spending time together. We laugh together, we have cried together, we played barbies together and we played sports together. Hannah you've been there for me and encouraged me. Through that encouragement my heart came alive again., thank you so much friend. I love you lady!

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Getting Adjusted

So I am watching the Adjustment Bureau and I found a quote that hits pretty close to home, "I'm not some hopeless romantic. I would never allow myself to be that way. You ruined me. I didn't want to settle for less."

I felt like they took it right out of me. I have never been a hopeless romantic. I never wanted to be. I was fine being a slightly cynical realist. Then came what ruined me. I haven't wanted to settle for less than what I felt and thought I knew.

I don't want to hold on to something that hurts me but I definitely don't want to give up on something I want so badly. Something that felt more right than anything else in my entire life. Something that hurt more than I could ever explain or could have imagined. And knowing that the feeling of losing it hurt so much makes me hold on to it. If it hurt that much to lose it, what would it feel like to have it back?

So what do I do? It's hard to navigate through. And it may be what is keeping from getting where I am supposed to be.

Because it's Friday...

Fridays can bring a few unfortunate things but for the most part, they are absolutely amazing :)

This morning driving to work I had to stop and wait for the train again. See me and the train have a very abusive relationship... Every time I am proud of myself for almost being to work on time (my work building is literally on the other side of the tracks) the train ALWAYS holds me up and makes me late. And if it's a really lucky day it will come to a stop on the tracks, blocking the light and the crossing. Because the conductors hate me (they're probably Yankee fans). Today I was 15 minutes early and so excited because I have been late everyday this week... Well happy Friday Brianna! Train comes. I decided to be ok with it and catch up with all the facebook updates my phone had been yelling at me about. As I start typing static is coming over the radio that I had turned down. I turn it up and a knot starts forming in my stomach... The radio station has started playing 9/11 clips from NYC radio stations. Here I am thinking I'm being so patient with that train and they're rebroadcasting this tragedy that brought me to the verge of tears.
It put it into perspective for me. I'm sure that a lot of people are going to be feeling this way this weekend- I can't even imagine how the responders, families and survivors all will be feeling. But I believe that God was trying to remind me of all the blessings I have. And I am so thankful for the life I have today. Hearing the calls from people that had family in the towers and on those planes sobered my horrible attitude right up. My heart breaks for that city, and for everyone that it affected. Among the millions of people doing the same, I stop and remember how that school day felt, how confused I was because no one knew how to explain what was and what had happened. Ten years ago, wow. Listening to those clips made it seem like it could have happened last year.
When I woke up this morning I was just happy that it was Friday. I was just happy that my second job wrapped itself up last night. I was just happy that I had another 30 minutes to sleep. Now I am overwhelmed with gratitude and so thankful for the BLESSED and protected life I have been given. Lord thank you for reminding me to be grateful. I don't take the life I've been given for granted. I never want to do that. I'm alive and I have my family and friends. I have a job and I have bills to pay. That may sound like a weird thing to be thankful for, especially on days when I tell myself how much I hate my job or when I daydream about the things I could have spent all that money on that I used to pay those dreadful bills, but today I choose to be thankful for the responsibilities and the growing I have to do. I am so thankful for the friends that sing to me every Friday and for their saftey. I am thankful for my family, especially the ones that save me from the spiders and pack me a lunch in a transformers lunch box. I have been given and blessed with so much.
God thank you for the days you remind me how much I have and how much you have given me to help others. I am incredibly humbled today.

Trying to Shake that Feeling

Lately I've had a hard time shaking the feeling that I'm not where I am supposed to be. I've had this feeling for a while now, but whenever I try to leave something keeps me here. I don't want the fear of failing or being alone in the next step of my life to hold me back, but I won't lie and say that doing it all on my own doesn't scare the heck outta me. It's hard to be bold and leave everything I know when the direction I'm supposed to go isn't clear to me. And when I know I don't want to be alone. I've been struggling with where I thought my life would be at this time one year ago. I definitely didn't think I would be trying to figuring this out on my own. It's been discouraging, this feeling of being unsure of my place and my direction. But reading passage tonight lifted my burdens- even if it was just for tonight- it comforted me.

Psalms 143:8-10
" 8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing."

V8 reminds me that every morning I need to ask God to guide me and remind me of His love. It sounds ridiculous but it can be easily forgotten how loved we are.
V9 is a cry for help. No I don't have any out right enemies- besides myself doubt. There is no quicker way for me to become lost then when I get lost in the things that have hurt me or that I failed at. I said earlier that I am not where I thought I would be at a year ago. This is one of the biggest things I get stuck dwelling on mainly because the hopes I had for myself were raised high and I didn't get what I thought I was promised and deserved. I thought I knew where my life was going and I thought I knew what God was wanting for my life. I was wrong and I had a hard time accepting that I wasn't going to get the life that I wanted. The only one that can comfort me from that feeling of loss is God. He hides me and saves me from that.
V10 brings me to the realization that he has to be my teacher. I don't know what is going to come to me in life but he can teach and lead me in how I am to learn and grow from it all. But I have to let him lead me, and I have to have faith and firm belief in Him. I cannot bear to doubt Him or His word.


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Promises

Life Journal Post

Jeremiah 19:13 "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."


When your hope is renewed, your attitude is changed. Today my attitude was changed again. This promise of seek and you will find encourages me today. Wholeheartedly is a word that (to me) means your thinking and your motives are consumed with looking. When you pursue Him with everything you have- you aren't going to be disappointed.




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BFFs

A life journal post from April 19th, 2011:

BFFs



Scripture: 1 Samuel (18-20) *20:11-17

Observation: Friendship is such a powerful thing. I have friends that are closer than family to me. We understand and relate to each other better than anyone and we can be completely honest with each other. This passage in the scripture describe an incredible bond between Jonathan and David. Chapter 18 says, "David and Jonathan became best friends. Jonathan thought as much of David as he did of himself" (v.1 Contemp. English Version). They were BFFs. I have a feeling that Jonathan saw the incredible call on David's life and after recognizing that potential he would risk even his own life to protect his friend and make sure he was not harmed. When I stopped to think of all of this another verse hit me. Proverbs 18:24 reads, "There are “friends” who destroy each other,but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." Another thought hit me- Christ laid down His life for us- because he wanted us to be saved- HE SEES OUR CALLING AND POTENTIAL. He is close to us- closer than a brother. Christ is even closer to us than our best friends. As I realize all of this I feel almost overwhelmed. I have always thought of God as my Father, or my protector or my teacher, not so much as my best friend. To realize how close He really is to us and know that HE LAID DOWN HIS LIFE blows my mind. Yea I've known he died for me but this way of understanding it was realized today.

Application: I will realize that as close as I am to a friend, the Lord is closer. He laid down His life for me- there is no greater love (John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends"). I will realize this, and more importantly I will appreciate this.

Prayer: Lord, you continually amaze me. You are closer to me than anyone else. I praise you for the friendships you have given me and I thank you for the sacrifice and the love your Son showed me.

Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

A life journal post from April 18th, 2011:

Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

Scripture: Matthew 5:6
"Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

Observation: This verse instantly made me think of the Ps 11:7 verse I wrote about. I decided to read it with the definition of righteousness in the verse. "Blessed are those who seek to be blameless for they shall be satisfied." Do I seek to be blameless? Or do I just want to try and make sure I don't get caught doing something I shouldn't be doing? Generally I am the type of person who anticipates the consequences of my actions before I do something. Before I used to break rules or cross boundaries I would ask myself, "Can I handle the consequence of this or would I be upset?" Usually I would justify my actions and do what I wanted. Looking at this now makes me realize how foolish I was. If I have an intent, a desire for living a blameless life I won't want to cross boundaries- instead I will want to imitate Christ as much as I can. I will strive to lead a blameless life- being the best representation of Him as I can. Now I'm not naive enough to think that I won't mess up, fall down or be dumb sometimes but I know that He forgives me- making it possible for me to pick myself back up, dust myself off and try again.

Application: I will strive to follow Christ's example and live a life that reflects His blameless one. I will also receive His grace and mercy when I don't measure up.

Prayer: Lord, I want to HUNGER and THIRST to live a righteous life like you did. Guide me and teach me how to do this. Put that desire in my heart.

See His Face

A life journal post from April 16th, 2011:

See His Face

Scripture: Psalm 11:7
"For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness;
The upright will see His face"

Observation: Righteousness is a pretty main word in this passage. I looked it up and to be righteous means to be not guilty, without blame. The Lord is righteous and He LOVES those without blame. He loves it so much those who lead a blameless life GET TO SEE HIS FACE. Being righteous is impossible on our own- it just is. But Christ takes our blame and sin from us- making us righteous. I want to see His face- how amazing.

Application: Righteousness comes from Christ saving us, when we strive to live in the example he left for us to follow we live righteous lives. I will strive to live as Christ lived, keeping my heart right as to not turn it into a front like the unauthentic Pharisee's desire to follow law rather than to live as God asks us to.

Prayer: Lord, help me keep my heart right as I follow the example you have left for me to imitate and follow. I want to see your face Lord.

Sacrifice and Obedience

A life journal post from April 14th, 2011:

Sacrifice and Obedience

Scripture: 1 Samuel 15:20-23
20 “But I did obey the LORD,” Saul said. “I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal.” 22 But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king.”

Observation: Saul gave in to what his men wanted and didn't kill all of the men- He left the king alive. He tried to JUSTIFY his actions by saying "Oh I did this so I could offer a sacrifice to the Lord". No. The Lord gave Him specific instructions. He disobeyed. His actions were wrong- he knew it but he tried to act like he was doing the right thing. He tried to defend himself. How often do I do this? How many times do I do something- knowing its not what I was supposed to do- but I try coloring it by making it look better than it is? Samuel called Saul on it tho. He blatantly says "To obey is BETTER than sacrifice" He goes on to point out that rebellion is like the sin of divination- witchcraft and soothsaying. I know that at times when I would rebel I would try and act like it was my right- since I knew what was up- I took pride in the rebellious acts that I did. When I read those words it hit me so hard- rebellion is like witchcraft. That is such a eyeopening statement! I had to repent and ask for forgiveness for my actions and the pride I had in taking them. I want no part in any of that. But after that this brings me back to the thought- OBEDIENCE. This seems to be a theme in this book. Samuel obeyed God and he grew and the Lord was with him; whereas Saul didn't obey God and in turn God rejected him as king. How embarrassing. I don't want to fall out of the place God has me in- nor do I want to live in rebellion or disobedience.

Application: I want all of my actions and all of the intent of my heart to be in obedience to what the Lord instructs me to do- complete obedience. I want to honor Him with my obedience.


Prayer: Lord, I pray that you guide me in obeying your word. I pray that I stay in line with the plan you have laid out for me. I praise you for how far you've taken me and for what you continue to do in my heart.

Daily Renewal

A life journal post from April 12th, 2011:

Daily Renewal 

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:14-16

14 We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus,[d] will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. 15 All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. 16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are[e] being renewed every day.


Observation: Our spirits are being renewed everyday. Alot of days we can feel like we are dying, I think that when I get that in my mind its because I'm focusing on what I'm doing and not what God is doing with me or with my testimony. Alot of times I think that I just recognize the fact that I'm getting worn down and not seeing the lives God is changing and using me as a tool in that. When I get focused on the fact that I'm worn down it usually has something to do with the fact that I'm not asking God to renew me. But that is what I need- I don't need a break- I don't need to take a vacation- I need for Him to renew me everyday otherwise I am going to feel like my body is dying. How do I change my focus from being that I'm dying to that I am bringing people life? I ask God to renew me and my focus everyday- I CANNOT get caught up in myself. That is what really kills us.


Application: I need to be renewed by Him EVERYDAY. He needs to be my source.

Prayer: Lord I want you to renew me and give me the strength to be a witness for you. Without it I feel like I'm overwhelmed. I can't do it on my own or without You. If I try to I want to give up. My desire is to be able to reach more for you Lord. Teach me how and renew my spirit.

FOR-EV-ER

A life journal post from April 11th, 2011:

Forever

Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1-21 *1, 10, 15, 18, *19

Observation: This passage talks about the first time Samuel hears from the Lord. The first verse of this passage tells us that "word from the Lord was rare in those days". Samuel was not familiar with God's voice, in fact he thought the voice he heard was coming from Eli. When he finally recognizes the voice and who it belongs to God revealed himself to Samuel. This revelation wasn't a "Oh hi there, how are you?" It was a, "Oh hey that guy thats training you- the one you are living with- yea I'm gonna bring judgement against him and his sons. Their sins won't be atoned by sacrifice or offering... FOREVER." When I read that I pictured the scene from The Sandlot where Squints just keeps repeating "FOR-EV-ER" slow-mo over and over again. Note that I'm not making light of what God was saying to Samuel- but can you imagine being a just a kid and the very first time you hear from God He's telling you that your mentor is going to be judged- and you get to tell him about it? Well that sounds like a fun day... But the point of this is Samuel came with an open ear, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." He came with a listening heart. I think that a lot of times we come to God just wanting to talk- or wanting something from Him. It's not very often we come just to listen. Not only did he listen to the word of the Lord, scripture says that when Eli asked him what the word was he told him everything and hid nothing from him (v.18). He didn't say,"Well God's going to have a lil chit chat with ya later... " He didn't sugar coat it- he told Eli what God said. And the result of his obedience was that Samuel grew and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fail. How awesome would it be to never be wrong? Well that was part of what came from his obedience. Amazing.

Application: I need to stop and listen. I need to get to the point where I can recognize the Lord calling me and respond with "Speak, for your servant is listening." When I do hear from the Lord, it then becomes my responisibilty to be obedient with the word he gives me. It brings great reward.

Prayer: Lord, I want to recognize your voice. Help me recognize You calling my name and recognize that I need to stop and listen to the word you have for me. Lord give me the wisdom to obey the words You give me because I desire to grow and have You be with me.

 

Being a Realist

A life journal post from April 10th, 2011:

Being a Realist

Scripture: Judges 13:21-23

21 The angel did not appear again to Manoah and his wife. Manoah finally realized it was the angel of the Lord, 22 and he said to his wife, “We will certainly die, for we have seen God!” 23 But his wife said, “If the Lord were going to kill us, he wouldn’t have accepted our burnt offering and grain offering. He wouldn’t have appeared to us and told us this wonderful thing and done these miracles.”

Observation: Manoah quickly forgot the words spoken to him when he realized the one who had said them to him. His wife had to be the realist and remind him God probably wouldn't tell them all of what was spoken- just to kill them. She had faith in the word spoken. I can't help but imagine her response to her husband having some sort of sarcasm to it...

Application: I will look past my humanly way of understanding and over-reacting and trust what the Lord speaks to me. I will be a realist :).

Prayer: Lord, give me your understanding and let me look past what is right in front of me and realize Your ways are much higher than mine.

Thankful Sacrifice

A life journal post from April 5th, 2011:

Thankful Sacrifice

Scripture: Psalm 50:7-14,23
7 “O my people, listen as I speak. Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God! 8 I have no complaint about your sacrifices or the burnt offerings you constantly offer. 9 But I do not need the bulls from your barns or the goats from your pens. 10 For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills. 11 I know every bird on the mountains, and all the animals of the field are mine. 12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for all the world is mine and everything in it. 13 Do I eat the meat of bulls? Do I drink the blood of goats? 14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High...23 But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God.”

Observation: Our sacrifices are NOT for God's benefit-  we do not provide for Him, everything belongs to Him. Our sacrifice should be out of thanksgiving-Honors Him. His revelation comes from honoring Him.

Application: I will not let my sacrifice/tithes/giving of myself become a meaningless routine or habit- it will be done PURPOSEFULLY and with THANKS.

Prayer: Lord, I want to honor You. You sacrificed so much for me- let the sacrifices I make be done with a thankful heart.