Lovin Me Some Friday :)

Holy Moses! Have you seen this sofa on Design Sponge?? I would like to say that THIS is a piece of furniture I want. I need it. I'm pretty sure of that fact. What is about upcylced items that catch my eye? Whatever it is- this needs to be mine! (PS I absolutely LOVE Design Sponge, they definitely make me want to redecorate every other day :)


Love Love Love it!

Do you know what else I love about Fridays? A while back I established Michael Jackson Friday in my office. It makes my workday go by quicker and there is very little music that brings me as much joy as the King of Pop did (RIP). Sooo here is my Friday Playlist :)

This is going to be a pretty busy (but fun) weekend for me. I'm going to get together with some friends of mine tonite and then spend the day with my best friend and some family friends out at Shepherd's homecoming tomorrow. I love small town celebrations, it should be a blast. I haven't decided if I'm bringing my camera yet but I might take it and try snapping some shots of the action. They do a pancake breakfast, a parade and of course the football game. It should be a blast. Sunday is just as promising. I am getting together with one of my long lost friends (another one that I've been close with since we were babies) and catching up. Then it's adventure time with another set of friends. I'm so looking forward to it all. I hope your weekend is just as promising! I will be catching up on my 31 Days Project before girls night tonite too, sorry it keeps getting delayed. But not for much longer :)

Oh and here is a little "P.S" that is probably ridiculous but makes my heart happy.
Dear One Tree Hill, I am so glad I found Season 1 last night. I am sorry for losing you among all of my old DVDs I haven't watched in ages. Thank you for reminding me how much I loved you :)
Love,
Bri :)

bows and arrows

So one more day on the favorite outfit post, instead I decided put some pictures up of some of my favorite jewelry (which will be in tomorrows picture)...

First the ring from yesterday's post. I will be adding some studs and bracelet I bought from American Eagle about a year or so ago. And one new addition to my jewelry addiction :) An arrow necklace that came today. I also bought this on etsy and think it goes great with the other accessories...

I really love the brass/copper color these pieces all have. And the pop of turquoise just makes my heart happy.

I'm just in love with all these arrows.

And here is the next post in my 31 Days Project...

Day 5 (but really 6). Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Ha has it ever jaded me? The world's definition of beauty made for a very self conscious little girl for my (almost) entire childhood and young adult life. Starting in about 4th grade I was the chubby girl. I'm not asking for a pity party, I am responsible for the way I treated my body, but I never was comfortable in my own skin. I have always been embarrassed of how I looked and I think growing up and seeing everyone idolize beautiful people and look down on ones that don't match their expectations didn't help me shake that thinking. Because I wasn't sure of where to find my identity I always felt like I wasn't worth much because of the fact I didn't fit into the "pretty girl" description.
But you see I know better now. I find my identity in my savior, and He calls me beautiful. That doesn't mean that I don't still try to measure myself on the world's scale of beauty every now and again. But I find myself praising God for how he made me and now more than ever I am focused on getting myself healthy not just thin.

Proverbs 31:30 (NLT) "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."



Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Music and Another Day

So it turns out that 23 feels just like 22 :) Not too shabby though. I had a really fun time hanging out with my friends and family- and it is being continued on throughout the week. I am really blessed to have all of them. I got something in the mail yesterday from Etsy and I am considering it a Birthday present to myself...

This Awesome Ring. I bought it last week and received it yesterday. It's so fun and I'm really getting into the arrow trend.

I have my eye on this necklace to go with it...


This birthday was something different for me in a sense that I sat down last night and evaluated where I am at in my life. I am not where I thought I would be. In a sense I am not doing anything different than when I turned 22. I'm not quite a fan of this feeling of just letting life happen and not be intentional about it. I want to find where I fit in the world and I want to make that part of my everyday life. I want to be DOING something with my life. So starting today- the day after my birthday- I am changing things. I am making my health, my walk with Christ, my future and my heart a priority. I am not going to have other people making my decisions based on what they want me to do with my life instead of what I have been called to do and deserve to do with my life. I am taking better care of myself starting now. I deserve to love myself and need to get better at that. I am getting to the place where I listen to what God wants to say to me instead of just hearing what I want to hear- and there is a big difference. I am applying to a couple schools this week. One for photography. Another for teaching. And as I start this I'm going to be praying and LISTENING to where I am supposed to go. I'm not just throwin my hopes out into the universe waiting for something to happen with them. I am making things happen. It all starts with me doing something about it.


I want to get back to doing my 31 Days Project but because today is going to be pretty crazy and busy once I'm off work I am going to switch up some days. I am going to trade Day 5 for Day 4 (I'll have time to do some pictures tomorrow).

DAY 4(but really 5). Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
To me- this post is about someone that encourages me to live. They encourage and pray for me. Someone that has done that for me (literally my whole life) has been my sweet friend Hannah. We grew up together and have stayed friends throughout the years. Whenever I think about people doing something with their lives- I think of the calling God has placed on Hannah's life. She has SUCH a heart for people. And she is so sensitive to the voice of God. She is a friend that stands true to her convictions and loves on people always. I don't know if she realizes how many times I have felt like a failure and she came in and reminded me that I am a child of God and I am capable of doing things that I couldn't imagine doing otherwise. This amazing friend of mine called me yesterday while I was at work and wasn't able to grab the phone, but I listened to the voicemail she left and my heart missed her so much. But after listening to that I stopped and think about all the things we have been through and how much we still love spending time together. We laugh together, we have cried together, we played barbies together and we played sports together. Hannah you've been there for me and encouraged me. Through that encouragement my heart came alive again., thank you so much friend. I love you lady!

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

After a Long Weekend and Shuffling Days

Today I came home from a long weekend spent out of town. Friday I went up to our family's cabin with my parents. I love going up to the cabin. It's always so relaxing and such a time of rest. We hung out and just enjoyed some time together. Early Saturday morning we started our trip to the North East entrance of Yellowstone National Park. I had never been up the switchbacks (at least that I could remember) and I wouldn't mind ever being up them again haha. They made me kinda sick. Saturday all day was kinda miss and hit being sick. It made for a long day. But during the good times we saw some amazing stuff!

We had a chance to watch a herd of elk being hunted but a couple of wolves (we were just awe struck!), Old Faithful go off, and we were also able to see mirror like lakes reflecting the gorgeous mountain scenes. We looked all over for bears, but kept missing them. We did see some wild life- lots of bison, elk, a couple wolves and a fox playfully hunting by the roadside.

The drive back was probably the roughest. I was sick the entire time and we were going against the clock. There was construction that was going to be closing us off in the park if we didn't hurry and get through it before the closed the road. We didn't think we would be taking as long as we did in the park but we ended up making it through before they shut the road off. When we made it back to the cabin everyone was pretty spent.

Sunday was the kind of restful day I needed. We got back early afternoon and I went to one of my favorite coffee shops and edited pictures while a friend work on homework. We picked up my dad and went to Moneyball. I LOVED this movie. I had started reading the book, haven't had time to finish it yet but I just loved it. The details they put in it just made my heart happy (saying Youk waddles like a duck- perfect haha) and it was one that made people in the theater clap and cheer during the movie. It was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

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And to wrap the day up Jacoby Ellsbury hit a home run in the 14th to win the second game against New York today. Thank you Ellsbury, that is exactly what I wanted for my birthday!

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And for Project 31... I'm going to postpone that just one more day, I am going to head off and catch up on my sleep... Tomorrow is a big day- no longer 22. Does 23 really feel any different? Guess I will find out.

Let the Celebration Begin & Day 3

Today has been made possible because of this...

Because it's chilly and I stayed up wayy too late watching this...




Today one of my friends and I are going to get our nails done. It sounds so girly, but I have a gift certificate so I am excited to use it. I'm considering it a Birthday present to myself :) I haven't had a set of nails put on since high school (I think), so it will be fun.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with my best friend that finally came home after a long vacation. We went shopping and then let her little girl do our hair. I'm so blessed with such great friendships, the ones that feel like you are actually sisters and their family treats you like a family member. It makes my heart happy. While we were shopping at TJ Maxx I fell in love with a few things...

First was this recliner. It didn't come home with me (although I wish it would have). I just don't have any place to put it right now...





Next was this lunch bag. I've been cutting way back on going out for lunch. It's something that just drains my pocket book and also it can be harder to eat healthy- something that I am trying to do. We keep a pretty healthy stock of food at my house so putting it into this cute little bag will help me get ready in the morning.





The other two things I absolutely loved I didn't take pictures of (or buy- at least not yesterday). I LOVE it when TJ Maxx has Lucky jeans. They are some of my favorite jeans- mainly because they last forever and the sweet and low fit is complementing on me. I would have bought them but I had just gotten a brand new pair earlier that day so I had to pass. Along those I found a cute brown leather jacket. There is a good chance I will venture back over and get this jacket. I already have one brown bomber jacket but its a cropped one and makes it difficult to wear with some outfits. this one came down further and I fell in love. If it's there after our nail appointment today I will definately be getting it :)

And now to continue my 31 Days Project...

DAY 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
These questions are definately making me stop and think... I know a few people that inspire beauty for me, but when this person came to my mind I knew they were the one that I wanted to write about. My Mama. She is a beautiful person inside and out. She has a tender heart and is true to her convictions. If I "grow up" to be half the woman she is I will feel like I have done something right with my life. When I was growing up I gave that woman the hardest time. I was a stubborn hard-headed little girl that thought she knew best. Sometimes I still am. But she kept fighting for me. She kept loving me through every arguement and she kept praying for me. I think that is why her beauty is so apparent. She is a prayer warrior. And she is diligent about it. Now she is a woman that I can talk to about anything. She encourages me with love and makes sure I know how much she loves me. She has love pouring out of her. This woman is always willing to go the extra mile, whether it is for her family or for someone she sees is hurting. She has such a big heart. That is what inspires her beauty.
Lord make my heart sensitive like my mothers, and show me how to give love to everyone just as she does.


Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?

Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Birthmonth and Day 2

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For a few years now my dad has been convinced he gets a "Birthmonth" instead of a Birthday. We always end up arguing (in a joking matter of course) that he doesn't because he also claims he gets a "Father's month" instead of day too. Well this year I was told by my mother that I get a Birthmonth :) This weekend we are going to celebrate my 23rd year alive and take a little trip. We are going to start out by going to our cabin and then making our way to Yellowstone National Park. It's been such a long time since I've been to the park. The last time I was there during the summer/fall is when I was about 3. In middle school our 8th grade class took a week trip to the park... in the middle of the winter. I wish that trip would have been done when I was more adventurous, but at the time I was not a fan of snow or being cold. I did enjoy the daily cross country skiing- which surprised me because when I have tried to do downhill skiing I usually end up hurting myself and hating skiing. I am however looking forward to this fall trip and breaking out my camera again. It's been a while and I'm not a fan of that. Now that I'm down to one job again I think it's about time I start working on that again. Hopefully the colors are changing and we see some wildlife, even if we don't I'm looking forward to spending time with my family and just taking it easy. Mountain time :)

And to continue my 31 Days Project...

DAY 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Questions like this really make me think because I am kind of in the middle of figuring out who and what I am. I am not someone that likes to examine myself, but that is something I am trying to change. I am someone that craves realism, even the "hard truth" part of realism. I am not someone that like things to be sugar coated. I am someone that is curious about what makes people act the way they do. I don't voice my opinions for the sake of argument, in fact I am someone that will only voice them if I think someone is willing to listen. I am someone that is a work in progress. Daily I am being refined by God. Daily. That means I am being changed daily. I think that is what makes this question difficult for me to answer. I am not sure what makes me unique. I am me, I do not try to be someone else. I am happy being me.



Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?

Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

31 Days

So I have quite a few blogs that I wander over to daily (or at least try to). One of my new favorites is Mandy's Blog She Breathes Deeply. I love the sincerity and honesty of her posts and her little girl is just flat out adorable! I had seen this project on her blog and I wanted to give it a try since I've been a little more diligent about blogging on a (almost) daily basis :)

Here is her description of "Project 31":
What is "Project 31"? It is a collection of thoughts, ideas, and women who portray beauty in a inspired way. "Project 31" is you celebrating your God given beauty, and celebrating the beautiful women around you. The meaning behind the project is taken from this:


Proverbs 31
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax,

And willingly works with her hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

She brings her food from afar.

15 She also rises while it is yet night,

And provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

From her profits she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength,

And strengthens her arms.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her hand holds the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “ Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates.
Pretty good stuff, huh? Wanna join in? Here is the challenge... For 31 days, blog each day about things that celebrate your God given beauty, and the beauty of the women around you.
 

So here is the list & my FIRST post of 31 Days :)
Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

DAY 1.What does beauty mean to you?
Beauty to me is something that completely captivates your attention. It almost always takes your breath away. A lot of times when someone says something is beautiful I instantly think that it must be physically beautiful. Lately though, I've been pressed to apprecaite the beauty of things beyond that. A selfless act can be beautiful. A while back when I was skimming a photography book the author suggested that when you take a photograph, look for the beauty in everything. That is something I want to incorporate into my photography more too.

Testing

So there is this testing I continually go through. It is the testing of my patience. Most of the time I fail, miserably. Today I just got my second flat tire in a week. I have been housesitting two houses in the same neighborhood. Both are having new roofs put on as are a million other houses in the neighborhood. The last time I picked up a nail- it left me stranded downtown. This time thankfully I was still at the house when I saw my tire. God could you please test me with something that doesn't cost money or make me late for work? It would be much appreciated.
Hopefully I pass this test unlike last time.


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Candy and Bubble Bath

OPI Bubble Bath with Sally Hanson Rock Candy on top :)

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Lazy mornings

The way it should be

Getting Adjusted

So I am watching the Adjustment Bureau and I found a quote that hits pretty close to home, "I'm not some hopeless romantic. I would never allow myself to be that way. You ruined me. I didn't want to settle for less."

I felt like they took it right out of me. I have never been a hopeless romantic. I never wanted to be. I was fine being a slightly cynical realist. Then came what ruined me. I haven't wanted to settle for less than what I felt and thought I knew.

I don't want to hold on to something that hurts me but I definitely don't want to give up on something I want so badly. Something that felt more right than anything else in my entire life. Something that hurt more than I could ever explain or could have imagined. And knowing that the feeling of losing it hurt so much makes me hold on to it. If it hurt that much to lose it, what would it feel like to have it back?

So what do I do? It's hard to navigate through. And it may be what is keeping from getting where I am supposed to be.

Adventures with the BFF

Today my dad took me to lunch at Jimmy Johns. While we were eating he looks up and points to the UPS guy that had just grabbed a sandwich and says, "Look someone is having their sandwich Fed-Exed to them!" When I pointed out that it was a UPS uniform he quickly responds, "I wonder if the Fed-Ex guy knows the UPS man has his sandwich!"
Just another reason why I love Fridays, and my dad :)






Happy Friday :)

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Lovely Wednesday

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So today I am wanting to throw a couple things out here to show you whats inspiring me today (or just making my day lovely) First of all...

This awesome tutorial. How many times have I seen a painting or a print in Good will and tried to imagine how on earth I would use it to decorate. Well, the answer is to make an amazing piece of song lyrics wall art :)



Next up is Pinterest. This site can steal my entire day if I'm not careful... Its one giant virtual pinboard for you to sort, browse and organize things that you like, inspire you or just flat out fall in love with. It makes my heart happy everytime I log in :)

The last one I'm gonna up on here today (even though there are hundreds of things that are making today rock) is the song "I Remember" by Devenra Banhart. With the weather being chilly and rainy outside, I am totally loving having such a chill soundtrack to work to. I found the "Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon" album from seeing the movie Daydream Nation. The song "Bad Girl" caught my attention and thanks to sound hound I had the album purchased and downloaded before the movie was over. I love it when I'm able to find new music that completely calms me.

Hope you're having a great Wednesday :) almost to the weekend!

Black and White

I receive the Relevant Magazine weekly email and I really enjoy and appreciate the different approach they have in researching and interviewing for their magazine. If you haven't checked em out- I highly recommend it. Today I opened the email and something really caught my eye. Their article on "The Problem with Black and White Thinking" by Ed Gungor made me think again about how different members of the church body appoint themselves to being the religious police. That's exactly what it becomes- religion. Not relationship, not mentoring- it turns into having a holier than thou attitude and thinking you know the motives and intentions of someonelse's heart. Now granted some think that they are saving their brother or sister in Christ from damnation. There are certain guidelines the Bible has drawn out for us in approaching this, but most of the time is trying to be nosey and thinking you know whats best. It's living by the old testament law instead of by love and by grace. 

Here is a small excerpt from the article:
"A lot of people believe they have figured out exactly what each Christian should do and not do. Using a few proof-texts from Scripture (and lots of deduction) they tell us what to wear, who to vote for, what music to listen to, what words we can use and not use, how physical we can get in our dating relationships, what to eat, what kind of underwear to wear and whether or not we can have a beer and the occasional cigar. They have the world parsed out into neat absolute do’s and don’ts—of which they feel committed to keep the rest of us informed about. The world is black-and-white simple for them.

The problem is the world really isn't all that black and white—it's jammed with lots of grays and splashed with millions of colors."

I'm not condoning sin, but I'm also not condoning the religious spirit that doesn't allow you to enjoy anything in life lest you sin. What I am talking about is accountability and the biggie- taking responsibility for your actions. "Color is always more complex than black and white. When it comes to propagating truth and disciplining people into the Christian faith, most spiritual leaders prefer black-and-white simplicity and resist complexity. Complexity is too colorful. We prefer doling out black-and-white conclusions. Telling people what seems so much simpler and safer than telling them why. " Sure it's easier to tell someone not to go and sleep around instead of explaining to them the bond that God has created for couples (just one example).

This issue is so hard to navigate through, but that's exactly why people tend to avoid it. That's why there is black and white thinking. It's not easy to think in color and our own personal prejudices don't go down with out a fight. I grew up in an Assembly of God church that had a hard time trying to love people when they weren't following their dress code or listening to their radio station. They thought it was their job to tell everyone where they were going wrong.

We can put ourselves and our beliefs up on a pedestal but I don't think we are going to be wanting to do that for very long when it's our turn to be judged. I still have a hard time sometimes breaking out of that religious box to reach people. But something that always is on my mind is Christ didn't go around saying you have to wear certain clothes or talk a certain way for me to love you. He came to show us the truth, not to give us all the same buzz cut and make us all act like robots. Lord renew our thinking and our motives.

Monday Morning

Technically it's not morning but I've been singing this Death Cab For Cutie song all day so it seemed appropriate.
Ya know for a Monday it hasn't been so bad. Work went alright and I had the opportunity to spend some time with a good friend and someone I consider a mentor in my life. My best friend's mom is like a second mom to me. She is someone I can be myself with and I always have a good time with. And she and her husband take care of me like another pair of parents :)
As I'm winding down tonite I have to stop and thank God for the people like this that he has put in my life. They have helped shape my life and been there whenever I have needed them.
So as I sit here drinking my yummy banana pb smoothie I'm thanking God a little extra tonite.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Because it's Friday...

Fridays can bring a few unfortunate things but for the most part, they are absolutely amazing :)

This morning driving to work I had to stop and wait for the train again. See me and the train have a very abusive relationship... Every time I am proud of myself for almost being to work on time (my work building is literally on the other side of the tracks) the train ALWAYS holds me up and makes me late. And if it's a really lucky day it will come to a stop on the tracks, blocking the light and the crossing. Because the conductors hate me (they're probably Yankee fans). Today I was 15 minutes early and so excited because I have been late everyday this week... Well happy Friday Brianna! Train comes. I decided to be ok with it and catch up with all the facebook updates my phone had been yelling at me about. As I start typing static is coming over the radio that I had turned down. I turn it up and a knot starts forming in my stomach... The radio station has started playing 9/11 clips from NYC radio stations. Here I am thinking I'm being so patient with that train and they're rebroadcasting this tragedy that brought me to the verge of tears.
It put it into perspective for me. I'm sure that a lot of people are going to be feeling this way this weekend- I can't even imagine how the responders, families and survivors all will be feeling. But I believe that God was trying to remind me of all the blessings I have. And I am so thankful for the life I have today. Hearing the calls from people that had family in the towers and on those planes sobered my horrible attitude right up. My heart breaks for that city, and for everyone that it affected. Among the millions of people doing the same, I stop and remember how that school day felt, how confused I was because no one knew how to explain what was and what had happened. Ten years ago, wow. Listening to those clips made it seem like it could have happened last year.
When I woke up this morning I was just happy that it was Friday. I was just happy that my second job wrapped itself up last night. I was just happy that I had another 30 minutes to sleep. Now I am overwhelmed with gratitude and so thankful for the BLESSED and protected life I have been given. Lord thank you for reminding me to be grateful. I don't take the life I've been given for granted. I never want to do that. I'm alive and I have my family and friends. I have a job and I have bills to pay. That may sound like a weird thing to be thankful for, especially on days when I tell myself how much I hate my job or when I daydream about the things I could have spent all that money on that I used to pay those dreadful bills, but today I choose to be thankful for the responsibilities and the growing I have to do. I am so thankful for the friends that sing to me every Friday and for their saftey. I am thankful for my family, especially the ones that save me from the spiders and pack me a lunch in a transformers lunch box. I have been given and blessed with so much.
God thank you for the days you remind me how much I have and how much you have given me to help others. I am incredibly humbled today.